I frequently think and say to people, "I had no idea how much being a mom would require me to die to myself. I don't think anyone could have prepared me for that."
My prayer life has increased tremendously because there are so many times I truly don't know what to do for "life" that happens and there are decisions and wisdom that is needed.
I read the Word to understand the heart of a Father that created mothers to raise and lead children, and how I need more of That kind of Love. A Love that made all of us in His image. A Love that sent His Son to lay down His life to give us eternity with Him.
And yesterday, in the stress of a busy day, when patience and love was waning, I cried out to God about it all. And it's often, frequently, in the very simple but crazy times of cooking with the little hands asking to stir, and cups of milk that spill, and din of noise, and children who are fighting or giving me lip, He asks me to take a long loving look at Him and remember the whys of being patient and loving. The whys of discipline and instruction.
This is my later love note to their Daddy (with some parentheses to explain my thoughts):
"It's been a filled to the brim with bustle morning. We worked on chores, some fairy tale and nursery rhyme reading, drawing, and then lunchtime. I'm tired. But I'm thankful (to their Creator and Father God) for all of their big blue eyes (sorry, I love brown and green eyes too :), helpful hands and hearts that make messes, get loud and get in the way of my business. They are all sorts of sweet and they help make me a better person. They deserve it (meaning my love and patience) even though they aren't perfect. (Abby told Bannon he wasn't sharing and he said, 'no one is perfect (sigh!).' "
God says they are worth it. He said we were too.
(A peaceful moment where I had time to grab the camera)
And have I mentioned how much my children love this blog? This living photo album? I was checking out the new banner yesterday, and Abby scrolled and suddenly stopped. Can you see why?