Wednesday, April 27, 2011

"Take it to the Lord in Prayer"

This old hymn is on my heart this morning. Yesterday was a hard day emotionally. I only this morning was able to cry freely about it, in prayer. Yesterday was one of the brave face, and concerned watching with my stomach twisted up in knots. This morning was one of going into Father's presence in the quiet of the early morning, and pouring out the pain of yesterday. In truth, in the midst of some stress and scariness, I knew He was there. How easily my human nature falls into fear. But turnaround seems to happen quicker these days. I had asked Him to help me be wise and for the restoration of some broken pieces of happiness here. The outcome remains to be seen, but knowing He cares about everything too, brings reassurance . I posted this devotion from Spurgeon's morning devotional that comes to my inbox. Remembering, nothing is too small or insignificant to take to the Lord in prayer.

This morning's devotional by Charles Spurgeon:
"God, even our own God."
-- Psalms 67:6

It is strange how little use we make of the spiritual blessings which
God gives us, but it is stranger still how little use we make of God
himself. Though he is "our own God," we apply ourselves but little to
him, and ask but little of him. How seldom do we ask counsel at the
hands of the Lord! How often do we go about our business, without
seeking his guidance! In our troubles how constantly do we strive to
bear our burdens ourselves, instead of casting them upon the Lord, that
he may sustain us! This is not because we may not, for the Lord seems
to say, "I am thine, soul, come and make use of me as thou wilt; thou
mayst freely come to my store, and the oftener the more welcome." It is
our own fault if we make not free with the riches of our God. Then,
since thou hast such a friend, and he invites thee, draw from him
daily. Never want whilst thou hast a God to go to; never fear or faint
whilst thou hast God to help thee; go to thy treasure and take whatever
thou needest-there is all that thou canst want. Learn the divine skill
of making God all things to thee. He can supply thee with all, or,
better still, he can be to thee instead of all. Let me urge thee, then,
to make use of thy God. Make use of him in prayer. Go to him often,
because he is thy God. O, wilt thou fail to use so great a privilege?
Fly to him, tell him all thy wants. Use him constantly by faith at all
times. If some dark providence has beclouded thee, use thy God as a
"sun;" if some strong enemy has beset thee, find in Jehovah a "shield,"
for he is a sun and shield to his people. If thou hast lost thy way in
the mazes of life, use him as a "guide," for he will direct thee.
Whatever thou art, and wherever thou art, remember God is just what
thou wantest, and just where thou wantest, and that he can do all thou

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Enjoying Motherhood

First a howling blizzard woke us,
Then the rain came down to soak us,
And now before the eye can focus -
Crocus. ~Lilja Rogers
(Bannon's copywork poem)

The kids are running in the gardens and outdoors with a big pink ball, the puppy, and each other. We are watching and picking lots and lots of yellow trout lilies, expectantly watching the daffodil buds, and eyeing all the frog eggs in the pond. The tulip greens, and crocus flowers are cute as a button right now. Beatrix Potter stories are being read, and Among the Farmyard People as well. Staying here* in heart and mind is a challenge as it seems distractions are aplenty. But when I do, the satisfaction finds me, and I remind myself what a blessing it is to be a mom.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I Love Today

I love green
and salvation
and new life
and singing about the Resurrection.
I love new clothes like my new spiritual ones.
I love egg hunts and Easter baskets.
I love ham and colorful festive meal tables.
I love Jesus
my family
and my friends.
I love today.
(pictures by Andrea)


Thursday, April 21, 2011


I pulled out the picture baskets and scrapbooks to do some mama creative work. I teared up and laughed. So many memories recorded on those pieces of paper! How quickly the smiles, days, moments fade off into yesterday.

I picked up our camera again after a couple of weeks laying it aside. Anxiety and stress do that to me. As much as I hate it, it does. The family has been sick with something akin to the flu. It appears we are back on the road to being healthy. I'm seeing the bubbles again.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Things in spring

Listening to the sights and sound of home. Grady sees the girls playing dolls and he's intrigued and joins in.

Bella growing and learning to pay more attention to things she's playing with, for longer periods of time.
Look Mom! See Mom? Guess what Mom? Why Mom? Remembering the language of their ages. Their wonder and active years of discovery. Approval. Encouragement.
We spent a sunny hour at the pond. Me sitting with Grady at my side soaking in the sun. The other guys looking for salamanders. Home for a lunch at the picnic table, and then quiet time where I caught a quick rest on the couch. Home business of sweeping, mopping, putting away laundry, cleaning hot spots also creating pretty. Watching the little seeds in the window sprout.

Fun at family's swingset, home for more play and waffles. Bubble bath.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Day by day

The sun dawns and sore throats and coughs have taken hold during the night. Praying, keeping watch, reciting the Mom's Psalm for raising children :0) to my spirit:

Psalm 84:3 Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar, O LORD of Heaven's Armies, my King and my God!

So we and I wrestle out a soul and spirit's focus. Will I raise the level of anxiety here in this place? Will I be an agent to minister His peace and presence as I fix my eyes upon the Father? I cry the tears of fear, I leave my little ones in His hand again and again. And we take care of her. Bringing tea, smiles, medicine, comfort. And He is still here, even when Mom doesn't do the best at coping with stress.

A new day, and Spring is here. The sun is warm, and Sophie sets up a tea party with sunglasses. Bannon chases birds, Maureen comes for a quick but heart filling visit.

We walk the pond, and talk life, and what He's teaching us. And I remember that His mercies never end. They are new every morning. Not because He has changed this morning, but because He has more for each new day for me. Times and some days, I experience the burst and overflow when the cup is dry and I ask, but not when I expect.
Yes, He is good.
And it often bursts in the out of way places.
When I'm holding the sick one.
When I'm folding the laundry.
When I'm afraid and I look to Him.
When I keep my voice from sending the wrong message of condemnation as much as my flesh pulls in the opposite direction. And somehow words of teaching grace encourage the bickering child.
When I do the next thing and even though the glass broke, the kids cried at the same time,
I know my weakness
but my God is greater still.

And Spring is growing in my heart.