Curls and Crayfish

Blue Skies

2012-02-09T18:59:00.001-08:00

Excuse This House ~author unknown

Some houses try to hide the fact that children shelter there
ours boasts of it quite openly.
The signs are everywhere...
For smears are on the windows
little smudges on the doors
I should apologize, I guess for toys strewn on the floor.
But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read;
And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I'm forced to choose
The one job or the other....
I want to be a housewife
But first I'll be a mother

Oh, it has been so long since I've talked here! I miss this. And funny thing, I find this spot to think and reflect is such a help to me.

Have I ever shared here how much I love to clean? I *love*a clean house. Maybe a little too much, if it makes me a grumpy woman to be with when the messies take over. We do chores, but the smallest ones keep me on my toes, and I frequently discover messes I was not aware were even possible to make! And I find I'm tired. Weary. Not really just the messies. It's been a fast paced season in many ways. So, I'm letting things shake that need to go, and by God's grace through friendship, remembering the me I've been made to be through His Word and words, books that have been dear to me, I am rediscovering the daily bread the Lord wants to give to me day by day.

The weather has been so beautiful. It's hard to believe this is February!
We had a great time outdoors playing and I sat back and watched the happy kids play.

A six armed beast!

Bannon climbing a tree.

Blue. makes me just melt.

Happy red.

Back inside it was crazy and busy, spinning and whirling while we cut out crowns and decorated them. But it was good busy. The happiness from it that lasted the day made it all worth it.
Simmering soup for our sick family members. I put it in in the early morning to give myself a start, and what a wonderful smell we had to last the day until dinnertime. We had fresh bread with it.

Making paper crowns.

So proud. :)

Sleeping Beauty at nap time.

Morning cuddles we've caught on camera. So thankful for the love between them all. These moments really make me feel very rich. I'm hoping we are seeing that old saying come true. "What goes around, comes around."

Brother and sister off to the ball.

~Cassandra

January's Sunlight

2012-01-25T13:19:00.001-08:00

We had such a treat recently. We were able to listen to Hannah sing at a recent jazz concert. For years we have listened to her belt out alto tunes, and there she was doing it for a wonderful jazz ensemble. It was a lot of fun, and I was a proud mom.

Grady's favorite thing to watch is her recorded singing. It's pretty cute! :)

Little guys making their own fun. Dancing.

Climbing the large stairs and making up their own games.

~Cassandra

Winter's Winds

2012-01-19T14:33:00.001-08:00

It has been so cold! Well, it is January after all. So we've been staying by the fire to keep warm. It's so cold, we pass right on through the entrance room, and put our jackets on the chairs instead, and look at silliness that begins just to stay warm!

Silly Abby

Silly Sophie

Haha! The cold outside, make the cheeks red like cherries after playing in it!

My morning's thinking chair, with the fire right in front of me.

And in the morning, it's just the place for pajamas and coziness.

The day begins with a little tv, chores, play, rest, table time. School for the littlest ones looks like this:

We are working on habits of work, obedience, and attention. I tend to get a little absent minded, and remind myself of its need for days that run a little better.

There's no place like home.

~Cassandra

A Day of Play

2012-01-11T19:04:00.001-08:00

~Cassandra

"Father knows best"

2012-01-04T04:44:00.001-08:00

Sitting by the fire this morning and reflecting on the love of God. I have so many thoughts and questions. I'm so thankful my heart is reminded again and again that He will never give us a stone when we are in need of bread. Though the answers may not always be what I was hoping. Rest is truly in believing that God knows best. Father knows best. He knows best.

The holiday season with its memories and busyness and savoring and workings has passed and it was a sweet time. We followed the motto "something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read" this Christmas. It was different for the kids, but we hope their gifts were close to what is truly personal for them.

Time with family was of course the most precious gift of all. What is life without relationships? Uncle Matt and Uncle Joe joined us this year after being away for several years pursuing God's call on their lives.

We were then able to get away for a day to visit our relatives in the northern country. We traveled our first married years stomping grounds, the Adirondacks. I saw a flying bald eagle en route through. How awesome is that?

We had a lovely time catching up, playing, watching a couple movies, visiting with friends, eating most yummy foods. Unfortunately, we also brought along a sneaky tummy bug that we seem to have shared.

Bella and Uncle Ben :)

The sickness, thank you Lord, was furious but quick, and health is being restored quickly.

I am really looking forward to this new year. We are still praying and discussing what this fresh slate brings to us. We may plan our way, but the Lord will direct our steps.
~Cassandra

A man's home is his castle

2011-12-19T13:04:00.001-08:00

A beautiful winter weekend, with moments to slow down and take in life and consider where we are, who others are and have been. A Saturday trip to the Catskills and visiting a friend who kept the little guys were some of those special things. The rest of us took a trip to Frederick Church's home Olana. I'm always amazed when I visit there to catch the results of a man who dreamed and what he accomplished with his wife and life. He was a gifted painter who took in what landscapes offered to see and shared it with us.

Mr. Darcy cameo.

Mr. Bingley cameo.

This was their first home called "Cosy Cottage."

And the end of the trip brought on a nap or two.

Thank you Noreen for spoiling us. :)

That night we pulled out the storage boxes and ornaments and decorated the tree.

~Cassandra

Homemaking things

2011-12-09T12:54:00.001-08:00

Sorry for theThanksgiving turkey in December! This was one of those cute crafts we had done all a flurry-scurry like. You know, the one where this one needed something and the other needed that, and Grady wouldn't stay off the table and into everyone else's business. But they were cute, and we made Grady his own on a Popsicle stick because he like it when we pretended they gobbled at him :)

I've been practicing the art of 15 minutes these days. I have had so many moments of feeling overwhelmed during my days and also facing the dilemma of my procrastinating bigger projects. Some things I have just faced head on and asked for help. Mom came up and for an hour we looked at and tried on boots, jackets, gloves and snow pants.

A project I had been procrastinating approximately 2 YEARS, I accomplished in two 15 minute work sessions while the kids watched tv. Now the storage room is clean! A half hour total. Hopefully I can apply this to my exercise aspirations as well.

Artsy I'm not, but my daughter Hannah painted Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus with the little ones after dinner one evening. We made a salt dough recipe and modeled them and baked them. They are not perfect, but we love them anyway!

~Cassandra

Still brown and yellow!

2011-11-30T04:31:00.001-08:00

We are still enjoying warm weather. The sweaters and coats get taken off fast or remain inside the house. I love our outside time, and I'm always glad I took the time to roam with my kids. Unfortunately, we have to be very diligent about ticks. They are everywhere right now.

Bannon working, on his own.

Violet still runs into the pond to chase the sticks. Silly pup.

The little hills nearby provide natural slides.

Oh, the bouncing, the games, the screaming and even the crying fills our days with sounds of children.

Grady ran off, sneakers behind, to climb and balance on the down trees.

The noon whistle sounds and he waves a bewildered hello.

Daddy worked very hard to clear spaces of land for us to picnic at and play at. We enjoy it very much.

~Cassandra

Thanks-giving

2011-11-29T10:42:00.001-08:00

Father,
For family

And Your gifts of love that display Your majesty

For the blessings of children

And food to share and celebrate, life and love.

We are thankful.

~Cassandra

Happy Days

2011-11-25T19:14:00.001-08:00

A time out and about

Things to look at and wonder about

Saturdays, in the fall, cataloged in the memory banks.

Climbing, looking at displays. Holding hands. Pushing strollers.

Laughter. Lots of laughing.

Respecting. Lots of respecting.

Carousel. Silly boys. I love them so much. So proud.

Grady's first trip. Hannah holding on.

Happy and happier girls. These make happy days.

I couldn't pick a richer time with them. Museum visits are worth overlooking the stress. There is so much to enjoy.

Goodness in November

2011-11-12T17:48:00.001-08:00

The sun sets early, the days are shorter. The stove is lit, and we work hard stacking the firewood. I watch many squirrels out my kitchen window and know they are preparing for winter's winds.

There is more time for games. More time for reading. More time for baking.

Cotter is participating in a no-shave November, and Hannah and I think he looks like he is from a BBC movie. With his happy wit, I see him as Mr. Bingley.

We celebrated Sophie's 5th birthday this week! She visited Build-a-Bear, received just-for-her gifts, and we fixed up a child's cabinet to be a little kitchen, and we put together a little bit of felted food.

Friends Matty and Danny came to play.

Her favorite pizza.

A treat of a mermaid. Daddy snapped some pictures while she was lost in play.

I did a little art for a princess cake. With strawberry frosting. Sophie liked it. :)

We love this precious girl. Thank you Lord for the gift of Sophie.

~Cassandra

A Mother's Prayer

2011-11-04T06:10:00.001-07:00

Oh Lord,

Help me to sow seeds of love within the hearts of my kids.
Forgive me for the seeds of the wind that float about like bitterness, unforgiveness, complaining.
Help me to teach them the confidence of knowing and trusting in You,
and the weakness and instability of being insecure in Your love.
As I sow and water the seeds, I realize and rest in the knowledge you will cause to grow the things that are of You.
Save us from the futility of our own human reasonings, and inspire our lives with Your heart, Your vision, Your kingdom.
And may it grow and flourish here. First with me.
All because of you, precious Jesus.
Holy Spirit work in us today.
Amen.

~Cassandra

Surprised

2011-11-02T04:29:00.001-07:00

The back kitchen door opens and some quiet quacking and interested eyes look to see if I have any leftover peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Ranger stands meekly by, wondering as well.

The lady for sure will take it if it's thrown. She has enough attitude and will use her sharp beak to chase off the competition.

Winter's warning has come and the snow has already flown. It has warmed up since these pictures but we've gotten the wood stove going much to all of our coziness and it makes the home sweeter home in this large, spacious house.
I've been needing to focus on simpler meals these days, while I spend the days with littler ones. The littlest for sure being my Ironman. He quite does see life as something he can manage, and keeps me on my toes 24/7. I was so excited to get a call from my parents who picked us up a Chinese feast! What a treat!

And I've been praying for fresh ideas to enjoy these years in a house I can't quite keep clean or do all the things I'd like to. Being thankful is a constant heart reminder and simplifying in a beautiful way is another. Sometimes, simplifying what is coming in helps too. Both in the physical and in the heart. Just a thought. :)

My big kids and small ones, celebrated dressing up and candy and community this week. It was a lot of fun. Surprises of joy do come, when I stop demanding and assuming, and listen, look, and love in the light of my heavenly Father's countenance of love and wisdom.

This is His world. And He is the light that lives within us, because of Jesus.

Just Because,

2011-10-21T04:16:00.001-07:00

Sometimes they run and scream and cry, and the tension mounts

I stop to enjoy the things they are

The things they do

Working on drawing Bible stories as we go

Big sister picks up fork to help the smallest eat

Open poem book we read and work on while we sit and run.

Math especially for the kindergartener was Chutes n Ladders

Bella and I were on 96, ahead of the gang. I went to roll the dice and the anticipation in the room was on full alert!

We won :)

Hannah in her senior year, was home sick for the day. She put on her scarf, poured a cuppa tea, and studied for her SAT anyway. I thought she looked adorable and snuck in a non Facebook pose to show the world what I see everyday. I still see her as the spunky young heart that flashed its happiness and trust daily in our home with her rough play with brothers, mischievous but innocent laughter, devoted loyalty to her family, love of animals, beanie babies, climbing trees, drawing deer, constant smiles. Happy Hannah has not suited her more.

~Cassandra

Fall's Fireworks

2011-10-19T13:23:00.001-07:00

"Mom, how do they know how to fly in a shape?!" Abby asked as we watched the birds fly over our heads during our afternoon playtime. "And how do they know where to fly?"

What is there left to say to these unanswered questions?

"Isn't God amazing?"

Dad came home from work and we quickly piled into the big vehicle and went to our favorite spot to watch the sights in the sky this time of year. This really is our favorite place on this ground that Jeremy and I share a love for. We love to take all the kids during the different seasons and just soak it in. The sun was setting and we can easily estimate hundreds and hundreds of geese and ducks there and flying over our heads making a cacophony of sound. It's so beautiful. The trout were jumping, the waters' glassy surface reflected the colors of the setting sun.

Grady watching the birds come in and land.

Sophie discovering milkweed.

"Something told the wild geese
It was time to fly
Summer's sun was on their wings
Winter in their cry" ~Rachel Field

~Cassandra

Little Hands

2011-10-18T05:39:00.001-07:00

They really loved this activity. I did this frequently when my first three were small. It's one of those "fall" things that bring us all a lot of happiness. Pick out some favorite colors from outside. Design it on wax paper, and put another piece on top. Iron in place.

"A Face" by Bannon

Sophie was mesmerized!

I'm excited for another day together. Looking forward to it and its plans and surprises. Grady has already climbed to the sink to play in water, spilled a pan full of dried rice all over the floor, and pushed around little cars.

~Cassandra

Walk

2011-10-17T04:46:00.001-07:00

"And your ears will hear a word from behind you saying, 'This is the way, walk ye in it.' " Isaiah 30:21

Fall's rich colors clap their hands, demonstrating God's magnificence. Pointing to His creativity. Revealing His nature. His provisions in the changing of times and seasons.

These walks are so special to me. Hannah and I share this love of walking, and we love to grab the camera to capture the sights while we walk, and we share heart to heart conversations while we do so.

This season of change in life stirs my heart again and again to pray and seek God for big and little steps we take.

I've been thinking about how God is the "God of peace." The God of peace is alive in His children, and His grace whispers and heals in the deepest places. He never stops working. The light of His love is always turned on. It gets quiet when I stop listening. But when I believe, my soul is fed, my spirit strengthens, my mind clears, and I see the road in front of my feet. That is His protection. Confidence in His will. And suddenly worry and anxiety are not so important. His peace is. The Lord does not leave us helpless, nor is it His will to have us tossed to and fro with our own ideas about things.

My eldest sweetheart has been praying with us and talking with us about life. Her choices. His will. We've talked again and again about not being good enough to do one thing or another. But really, when it comes right down to it, it's not for us to make that decision. When He says to turn the doorknob, well, then that is the door.

~Cassandra

Life these days

2011-10-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

Rest

and laughter
delight
and love
memorizing moments

and the sounds are songs
slowing down
and remembering to embrace
leaves no one hanging
or longing for a place
*The grass isn't greener. It's all around our feet!*

"Teach me to love the way You love"

2011-10-05T04:31:00.001-07:00

The skies are mostly gray, the air was a bit chilly, the sun sometimes poked through. It feels like fall. I've watched and listened to the kids yell and scream while they chased the falling leaves from the trees. The mama deer and her children, we watched from the kitchen window. The hickory nuts we are opening and trying very hard to keep any that weevils haven't gotten to first.

While in the throes of busy and slow, full and fast, I'm trying to catch snatches of time to read. In my lap now, I have The King's Cross by Tim Keller. It's just one of those books I'm finding, that have me thinking, and praying again, for heart change. I wish I had the time to copy out an entire page I've read and reread about love, and how *my life for yours* is the truest form of love, seen and given by Christ. He did this for us. Our example, and more, a transforming type of love. Mr. Keller brings it right to a mom's doorstep when he writes about the ways we choose to live with this attitude while raising our children.

Jeremy and I have been trying to work out a dinner prep schedule. He comes home, the kids are so happy, and on some days he takes them for a walk while I mash the potatoes and set the table for dinner. These early dark evenings have me lighting our mulled cider candle and dimming the lights. The music plays and somehow things somewhat settle for dinner together.

Here are some pictures of a Dad's walk with his little folks. Pictures by Jeremy and Abby.

~Cassandra

"Teach me dear Lord,

2011-09-29T05:12:00.001-07:00

To live all of my life, through your eyes."

It has been raining, and we've been catching up on our indoor time. It leaves room in my mind for the decorating, cleaning up the corner cobwebs, putting the busy hands that follow to help :) to work themselves. I shared with a good friend the other day that as hard as I work, as organized as I try to be, the little hands and people are very active, so a static state of perfectly clean doesn't happen. But we do have clean up times during the day and they are wonderful helpers!
"Bannon, you have the entrance room. Abby, you have the living room. Sophie, you take the dress up box. Bella, put suchandsuch away for Mommy."

I'm being taken back to my homeschooling days Hannah, Cotter, and Jake and I shared, lately. The coziness of fall, the manipulatives we use in math, the things I learned that were important in my relationships with them, come to the front of my memory again and again.

One of the things is that as I tried to and try to learn from other moms, I can't make my personality or interests or priorities to be like another. Who we are married to, who our children are, our callings in life, are really, all very different. I've tried on some hats for a time, and they never seem to fit right. Some hats are just about right, I just need to be patient and persevering and let the Lord work in me to give me more strength and wisdom in the doings. The other hats are best left on the shelf, and I love and learn from what its uniqueness offers.

In our insecurities as women, we may be tempted to criticize or feel criticized by what doesn't work for us. But God, who loves us dearly, knows what's best for us, and He'll lead us in the way we need to go if we are seeking Him.
And always remembering:

"but the greatest of these is love."

~Cassandra

A Breath of Fresh Air pictures by Bannon

2011-09-27T04:40:00.001-07:00

~Cassandra

Every day is a feast

2011-09-26T04:17:00.001-07:00

"All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast." Proverbs 15:15

"So if the *Son* sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

"A joyful heart gladdens the face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken." Proverbs 15:13

"This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

A ride down the dirt road, the leaves are falling, and the corn stalks are looming over my head on the right, the hills and black and white cows are to my left and again I'm struck with the beauty right outside the front door. Sometimes I wonder aloud to God if heaven will be like the good parts of the earth. Is that why I think it is beautiful?

Faces of good people, activities of so many, comforting others the ways they have been comforted, in the ways that are unique to them, knowing just what to say, to do, and I wonder aloud to God if this is His way of demonstrating His large heart? That everyone is playing in His game, no matter their location, vocation, and destination? No one is sitting on the bench?

This week I noticed again, thanked again for the little things I think He's demonstrated His table in my life. Thankful for:

~the gift of sisters in Christ who I can confess my faults to and they understand, remind me of forgiveness and grace, and the truth that there is always the next moment to look up and walk afresh in the Lord.

~little guys with energy to run and jump and yell and all the spunk God has put inside their hearts to live with gusto

~the colors of fall bringing warmth to the inside of a home

~hugs from teenagers

~dehumidifiers

~little mister who is too cute for words

~the work of the Holy Spirit

~apples

~family and friendship bonding through football

~Cassandra

September things

2011-09-23T05:37:00.001-07:00

It was a blurry morning, but we were able to get some chores done. A Bible story under our belt, a poem, and a grim Grimm's fairy tale ;) We suddenly had a peaceful moment when we did a picture study and everyone was coloring or painting. *insert deepest of deep breaths* It is sometimes so loud and busy here these quick inserts of quiet are so nice. And it counts as school. bonus.

Doing art. copying a painting listening to classical music.

Playtime*outdoor time*

Eating mint leaves

duck chasing

Toadie number 1

Sunlight watching, colors of fall

Picking flowers

And then Toadie number 2. Bella's catch this time. All by herself.

We were invited to my parents for dinner and were blessed by their hospitality as busy again as the little guys are. Dad made pasta fagioli and Mom made apple pie.

~Cassandra

Love...believes the best.

2011-09-22T05:05:00.001-07:00

Well, hi :) I'll just come right out and say I've been hiding from my blog. This little spot where I record moments we treasure, I've taken a step back to think and pray about. Never have I wanted to paint a picture that is perfect, but I also have a 17 year old on the verge of leaving the nest for college. This has given me the perspective of how quickly time flies and if I let my thoughts serve my grumpy moods, other's bad attitudes, and the plain ole life difficulties, I'll miss these moments meant to enjoy :) no matter how bumpy the days.

"Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises." James 5:13

I feel bold enough to say: Is anyone feeling discontent and afraid? Reflect on God's goodness. Is anyone feeling lonely? Remember His unfailing love. Is anyone feeling stressed out? Ask God for wisdom and He is generous with it and He will show us how to do the next thing. I know I have mentioned it before, but my kids read the printed version of my blog. It is a beautiful pink book. "Your pink book," they say. They love it. I want them to always remember difficulties, but the faithful hand of God's goodness, love and provision in the midst of life. To know and see and believe the best.

We are in busy fall mode. Bannon is quarterbacking for his team and he's pretty good at it much to his Father and big brother's delight. Jeremy is a volunteer coach and doing lots of running around. But he doesn't complain. he loves it. we enjoy lots of football stories and tales of interactions between the friends. it's REALLY cute.

Hannah and Cotter recently played with theit band and buddies Steve, Andrew, and Jon at the Pop Warner homecoming football game. Bella ran crazy back and forth from the playground to the food stands. :) A beautiful friend came and bought our family ice cream cones.

Sophie and Matty, these two. So cute and funny.

Thrown Over the Bus playing their music.

The feet pjs have been pulled out of the storage boxes. Sweaters are hanging, green tomatoes are trying to ripen in paper bags.

What a great time of year.

My first crocheted pair of socks for Bella or Grady. Whoever will tolerate the uneven, bumpy pair of warmness.

and now, I go back to being me.

~Cassandra

And so begins the fall

2011-09-09T04:21:00.001-07:00

We are up before the sun and the coffee pot is turned on. Shower runs, teapot stirs. Little screens are in the hands of teens and nerves are on the surface. I pass on the encouragement that God is with them and they should look for opportunities to be a blessing to another and watch the Lord take care of all their needs. The somewhat traditional picture of the First Day is taken and I'm happy to have it as I look upon it later in the day when I'm missing part of my companions.

The little ones and I get off to a little bumpy start. Summer has a way of losing routine and some necessary habits...most importantly in the obedience and attitude department. After some praying and asking, some wisdom came my way. So time for some realistic goals were put in place, and it was the fresh breath part of my day. Peace settled in, and we were able to start to get back on track!

Oh my, I was very very tired at the end. I know though, there was lots of hugging, some baking, some listening and hearing, and some gentleness in spite of all my imperfections as a mom, and that makes me happy. Bannon and Abby have been writing songs together, Sophie has been so involved in her doll play and Grady joins in. Bella spent alone time with me. Today is a new day and thankfully the Lord has new grace, new energy, and ideas to help me and strengthen me. His lovingkindness is better than life.

~Cassandra

2011-09-07T17:27:00.001-07:00

The power went out with the hurricane. And we lit the candles.

Rose before the sun :) but were happy to play camping.

we spent a lot of time together.

Playing games.

And word puzzles.

The debris we cleaned away.

And still more time to play.

The creek took on the look of a river.

We spent time with friends and tried popcorn successfully over the fire.

Breakfast made by Jeremy. Over the fire, nothing quite like it.

empty plates filled

And then again more time to play and get very dirty.

Again, futures considered and being prayed about.

And watching hearts and hands jump in to help where they could.

It's a a lot I'm still taking in. But it has been a week I won't soon forget.

~Cassandra

Pages of Summer

2011-08-23T05:07:00.000-07:00

Community day brought an opportunity for Cotter to play with our church's worship team at the firehouse. Some of the other highlights were being able to walk the llamas and getting soaked by the firemen's hose.

Bella had an obsession with Franky the llama. We'd walk away, only to have her run back to him when we were and even were not paying attention!

Freckles enhanced by the sun are beautiful!
Playing in the hose

Hannahbanana and Jake.

Through Hannah's Eyes

2011-08-04T04:19:00.000-07:00

Hannah takes a lot of family pictures here. She has been commenting to me that she is feeling sad that if she goes away for college, this may be her last year apple picking with us. *Can't even get started about that without getting tearful. A couple of days ago she went out with the camera, and I love seeing our world here through her eyes.

Reboot

2011-08-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

Jeremy planned a trip to get us away for a day. It was beautiful. It was special. It was needed.

Sometimes in the grind of days: frustrations, hurt feelings, life worries, big questions, disagreements; life's true purpose and purposes of my days gets lost in the muddiness. Then, without reason, or foreplanned knowledge, just a Hand that prearranges lessons for a life, perspective whispers.

Thank you Lord for:
~blessings and joy not because I deserve it or worked for it
~tallest mountains
~deep crevasses with swirls of marble
~The God who made this world, has the wisdom needed to steer through life
~gifts given to men to create, paint, make music, build and design
~ long lasting engine on a very used car that takes us over tall peaks
~colors of large paintings at the Clark Museum
~An understanding patient man
~quiet, stillness, peace
~picnics
~vision that wraps its arms around my shoulders and says, "keep walking"

Together

2011-07-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

Together under the canopy
of trees and leaves so green.
The wonders of a nature hike. Where they think of Narnia and elvish things.

The water is clean and more splashing of white cools us off. Reflections on the rocks above.
Creatures to see and observe.

It's free and a gift. Time together can't be taken away from the heart.

Letters of grace

2011-07-23T03:54:00.000-07:00

Listening, watching, appreciating

To laugh and appreciate the growing of hearts.

To play, to give. In time, in thought, in interest, in heart, in life.

Because as I do to the least of these,

As I do unto you,
an audience of One

The flowers grow when I'm not watching.

Summer Days

2011-07-19T03:45:00.000-07:00

Do you like butter Bella? Yes, yes you do :)

We take our walking feet and go to where the creek runs free. tripping and rolling over the stones.
We swim. We splash. We watch for turtles and snakes and crayfish.

Rocks and sticks are in abundant supply to play and pound and throw.
Skip and plunk go the rocks.
There is even a fashionable way to wear your hair in the summer heat.

Exercise, fresh air and sunshine.
And berries. Not enough for pie or cobbler or crisp or jam. Just enough to stain our fingers and mouth among the lot of them.
And we ask to go back day after day to do it all over again.

Days 6 and 7....

2011-07-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

It has been some busy and fast days. It's ok with me. Jeremy is plugging away at college, and we miss him. Being focused on getting things done here, and enjoying the kids is my assignment right now.

View from above:

Hannah's bouquet:
Newly painted and carpeted rooms. Beds made by the little ones.

The teens have begun voice lessons with a music teacher, and the little guys are deeply involved in... play. I'm resting in the knowing that God will provide for our needs. We have big decisions in our upcoming future. So we are praying and trusting His wisdom will guide our footsteps. If you think of us, we'd appreciate the prayers too.

Days 2-5

2011-07-11T04:28:00.000-07:00

~Sights, sounds and scents of homemaking joys
* old carpets out, walls painted pale colors - calm for our eyes
(before pictures)
~closet reordering and painting

~all the helping hands
~picnics and parties
~wild, rambling gardens
~the times of holding and hugging
~pink flowers

Day 1

2011-07-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

Day One's Blessings:
~Hannah, Cotter and Jacob's hands on way of being a help with the house and little kids
~Grandma Knefley's chewy cocoa cookies made by Jake
~kiddie pools
~chickadee babies
~lilies about to bloom
~running into a dear friend at the grocery store
~fresh paint, new carpet
~fun and happy news from a loved one
~the support of loved ones

My Father's World

2011-07-07T04:46:00.000-07:00

We are back from our vacation to the ocean. The smaller M. crew had never seen the ocean, and it was one of my mothering joys to watch them as the first sights of the ocean came into view and the wonder of it captured them. My heart was captured too.

We traveled over large bridges through tunnels, and the wind whipped through our hair as we drove side by side with this open blue space and endless horizons.

Bella's first sighting.

The world is large and God's grace is bigger and endless still. I woke one morning to see the sun rising and another time lay resting while the seagulls sang their tune and the waves splashed and crashed on to the shore. Both times left me quiet, tearful, and so grateful for the way His gentleness *and* magnitude were revealed to me in this season of life.

A breathtaking trip and there will be no way to post all the pictures so a note to my kids (check the photo albums and scrapbooks for more)

"And whatsoever ye do,

2011-06-22T04:03:00.000-07:00

do [it] heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;" Colossians 3:23

(pictures by Cotter and Hannah)

Jeremy and the boys have taken the tractor and weed whackers to blaze a nature trail through the property. It goes under, over and through the trees, by the pond, to the open fields and back again. There are butterflies, wildflowers, frogs, snakes and plants to see and observe and avoid :)

It is so nice to go through, with Grady quiet in my arms, looking and loving the sights and sounds of summer.

Abby is the brave one, catching the frogs with her own two hands while the boys use nets. Can't say I blame 'em.

I have been giving a lot of my thoughts and seeking and praying as to God's will lately. I heard once that when one serves Him, you must mentally take people right out of the picture so that one remembers the One whom they are really doing the things they do for. Whether it is a quiet activity or loud activity, a surrendered heart, is a surrendered heart. Being faithful in the small things is still being faithful.

Small things collide and suddenly become bigger when an open door to a child's heart is present and a heart to heart on the fruit that has grown from an undesirable longing or seed happens and the person listens and lets you pray with them because they trust you because they know you. A mother's heart reaches out and learns to find rest in God as she talks to Him about her kids and learns to listen and extend mercy and truth together. God's will is every minute, every hour, every day, everywhere. It's up to me to set my sights on Him.

tweeting at twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/deespinkrose

The best is love.

2011-06-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

The days that move slowly
are filled with dancing and music if I take the time to sit and watch

I laugh and say I'm part childhood facilitator. Giving them time to play, be known, to explore, to learn.

^{1 Corinthians 13: 12} We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Dear Blog,

2011-06-15T05:01:00.001-07:00

(Pictures by Abby and Jeremy)
Just when I think, perhaps it's time to stop this blog, my children pick up last year's blog book my Mom and sister gifted me with, and they laugh and look and ask me sheepishly, "Can we do fun things like that again?" And I smile and tell them, we still are doing fun things like that, every day.

Every day, we get up and do the next thing, live life for Him, and somehow, even when we don't see it, we get to look back over the past, and see the ordinary days have their own special glimmer where God's hand and heart designed and spoke, "love them," and it turns beautiful but not because you made it beautiful for a blog or for other's eyes, but because it just kind of happened, and one is surprised and glad all at the same time. Even the fingers that have typed this, come back here and read and I'm encouraged by the threads the LORD has sewn.

We remember His creation, the works of His hands. They testify of His greatness.
We wrestle with life, lose our cool, repent and ask forgiveness, stand back up, and move on again. Isn't His grace like that? Isn't His love and kindness like that? It's amazing.
And each other, people in the grocery store, neighborhood, online and realtime. Made in His image. All of value. He has no favorites. And His heart beats strong for every one. And we ask, help me love like You do father.

This is life. For today. Not tomorrow or yesterday. I'll live it for Him. Do it all for Him.

Bella's Day

2011-06-08T03:38:00.000-07:00

"I go to Maureen's house for my berday..." said Bella. And Maureen said yes :) So we went!

The FACE that was receiving her "Happy Birthday" song.

Later in the day after coming back home, having a family dinner of hot dogs and a celebration with chocolate sprinkled donuts, she put on her new bathing suit, unwrapped her chalk and went outside to draw on the rocks. She declined swimming to color instead. At one point she stopped and happily pointed to something she spotted in the sky....
The moon.

3 is a beautiful age.

:"You fill our hearts with more than we can hold inside and so we sing"

2011-06-07T03:57:00.000-07:00

Playtime comes to an abrupt ending. The air is filled with yelling and children are running. A car horn beeps and there is a happy reunion after Daddy has been away for the day working. There are hugs and a wrestling match with smiles and laughter filling the hearts of little ones with a Daddy's love.

And I'm in the days of remembering I am a child. Discovering a Father's love again every day fills my heart and I make sure to do my gratitude list because while I'm busy in my days and my heart wanders to look elsewhere, there is a Father who is gracious and compassionate and knocks at the door of my heart. He is generous and a Giver and I choose to open wide my heart to His love.
"Even if all we do is lean our heads back in the sunshine of our soul's Sabbath and take a minute to feel the glad emotion, it is meant by God to be medicine for our weary souls. Times of happiness are glimpses of heaven until we get there." ~Beth Moore

I am thankful for:

falls that seem protected by an angel's hand
studies with others that provoke growth and deeper understanding
birthday celebrations
pink sunrises
puppy tug of wars
conviction and correction in my life to be childlike not childish
little hands that hold on
laughing so hard the tears fall
seeing princess hearts from the littlest to the biggest, and making sure to tell them they are
cereal for breakfast

June Moments

2011-06-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

“It is the month of June,

The month of leaves and roses,

When pleasant sights salute the eyes,

And pleasant scents the noses.”

Nathaniel Parker Willis

Bannon making music.
Grady is now talking his jibberish language. His tones go up and down and he carries on a regular conversation.
The hoses are out and we are watering seeds, plants, and even some weeds :) I can't completely keep up! I have to chase a toddler for most of the day. We have planted wildflower seeds from American Meadows, and lots of baby plants are poking up all over. I did discover a deer ate the top off of one of my lilies, but the rest of the lily trees and lettuce are still safe.

Talking
Attacking
Coming for me!!! Yay!

And Hannah attended her Junior prom with a childhood friend, Andrew.

To live, to love, to remember, to sing

2011-06-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

~Celebrating
Sons
who turn a year older, growing and maturing
through some heartache
through laughter
and experience

~Celebrating
Busy seasons
that make little people into bigger people
and friendship is sown
into hearts

~Celebrating
Together
What life has given
and enjoying twists and bends in the roads
surprise fish in the dark water
basking in Love that isn't conditional
and mercies anew
learning from and leaning into
the Creator and Father who
makes and made it all
and enjoying the dance as He leads.

Be still and know that I am God

2011-05-21T04:37:00.000-07:00

Genesis 9:13 I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth
Psalm 138:8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

Psalm 145:8 The LORD is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.

"Happy are the people, who know the joyful sound"

2011-05-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

Psalm 89:15 ¹⁵ Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship,
for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord

He is never far
maybe hidden for a time
but near
and when the rain passes
and the clouds move on
the sun begins to shine
and the light is His grace
His strength
His might
and one remembers
feelings are but a vapor
but truth is the Rock
upon which the Kingdom footsteps are secure

"Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the windows which hope has opened."
~Charles Spurgeon

Dear Lord, today I'm thankful for

~ Hard conversations

~ that You never let go

~ soothing rain, mists, and growing things

~ the example of children

~ art to be inspired by

~ gifted teachers

~ antibiotics

~ my Honey

~ ferns, bleeding heart plants, lilies of the valley, and forget me nots

~ family dinners

Once upon a time

2011-05-13T18:16:00.000-07:00

Bedtime is always sweeter with a good book to read.

And a carefully arranged dollshelf by Abby. "I have five babies Mommy. And they are a LOT of work." Fresh picked flowers added by Sophie.

Yes

2011-05-11T03:52:00.000-07:00

It's been one of the days of spilled milk and wiping noses from raging virus.

Tears and shrill cries because of sickness.

It's been one of cleaning, and re-cleaning

Sharp voices and nagging worries about pet and people things

Fighting over dolls, instructions on sharing

then the "yes" comes. The "yes" after the attempts to pray it all away

longing for perfect and quiet

but He says, He is with me

His power is perfected in my weakness

and can I say, "blessed be the name of the Lord" in the hub bub of a day that moves faster than me?

And we leave the house and go to the pond

Where I chase the littlest

And listen to tales of frogs named "Fatso" "Rosetta" "Slippery" and "Chubby"

How they need a bath by the little girls' hands

Pull the happy 2 year old out of the mud

I remember this is but a swift season

And though it moments are fleeting, they are important for the "least of these"

I again, bow the heart, bow the knee

and say "Yes"

I will lift my eyes

2011-05-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

Lost in thought and prayer lately. So many things I'm wrestling with, being challenged by. I hope it means growth, but truly, in God's kingdom, the way up in growing is down :) So I'm quiet while I let and allow and resist the urge to defend myself while my heart is humbled and I listen. Allowing the workings of my days, the stony parts of my heart, the rhythms of grace lead me back to Father's presence where I pray I'll be changed more and more.

Mother's Day was a treasure with love outpourings from my husband, children, and well loved friends and family. Days like that are beautiful in that they lift the heart of a giving woman, tell her and remind her what an important and irreplaceable job she is doing, and give her the space in a whole day to reflect on the fruit of her labors.

Life is busy and I'm forgetting a little to slow down and capture the memories by picture and words. So I picked up the camera again today to do a Grateful Monday for 1000 Gifts. So, without further delay...

Dear Lord, I am so thankful for:

~Husband who walks through the door with groceries in hand saying, "I've got the rest of dinner. I saw Rachel Ray do an awesome dinner in 15 minutes on TV at the doctor's and I brought home the stuff to do it!"

~Little girls who rested their busy bodies and minds to listen to my singing and storytelling.

~Homemade cards with misspellings and heart-thoughts of their own

~Being center stage in a little wonder of a boy's heart

~a Japanese restaurant and time alone with my Gentleman

~life reminders that their is an adversary that prowls to rob, kill and destroy

~2 toned petunias and free gifts at the garden store

~the Love of God, the love of family, the love of friends

~sweet, special time with my Mom and sister

~an anonymous, smiling, quiet woman whose hobby was portrayed in Victoria magazine sitting at a table next to me, and she was beautiful in her old age

~tasting bits and pieces of "peace that passes understanding"

~coffee in bed

~excited faces peeking in my bedroom door because it was a happy morning of Mother's Day for them as much as it was for me

"Take it to the Lord in Prayer"

2011-04-27T04:16:00.000-07:00

This old hymn is on my heart this morning. Yesterday was a hard day emotionally. I only this morning was able to cry freely about it, in prayer. Yesterday was one of the brave face, and concerned watching with my stomach twisted up in knots. This morning was one of going into Father's presence in the quiet of the early morning, and pouring out the pain of yesterday. In truth, in the midst of some stress and scariness, I knew He was there. How easily my human nature falls into fear. But turnaround seems to happen quicker these days. I had asked Him to help me be wise and for the restoration of some broken pieces of happiness here. The outcome remains to be seen, but knowing He cares about everything too, brings reassurance . I posted this devotion from Spurgeon's morning devotional that comes to my inbox. Remembering, nothing is too small or insignificant to take to the Lord in prayer.

This morning's devotional by Charles Spurgeon:

"God, even our own God."
            -- Psalms 67:6

It is strange how little use we make of the spiritual blessings which
God gives us, but it is stranger still how little use we make of God
himself. Though he is "our own God," we apply ourselves but little to
him, and ask but little of him. How seldom do we ask counsel at the
hands of the Lord! How often do we go about our business, without
seeking his guidance! In our troubles how constantly do we strive to
bear our burdens ourselves, instead of casting them upon the Lord, that
he may sustain us! This is not because we may not, for the Lord seems
to say, "I am thine, soul, come and make use of me as thou wilt; thou
mayst freely come to my store, and the oftener the more welcome." It is
our own fault if we make not free with the riches of our God. Then,
since thou hast such a friend, and he invites thee, draw from him
daily. Never want whilst thou hast a God to go to; never fear or faint
whilst thou hast God to help thee; go to thy treasure and take whatever
thou needest-there is all that thou canst want. Learn the divine skill
of making God all things to thee. He can supply thee with all, or,
better still, he can be to thee instead of all. Let me urge thee, then,
to make use of thy God. Make use of him in prayer. Go to him often,
because he is thy God. O, wilt thou fail to use so great a privilege?
Fly to him, tell him all thy wants. Use him constantly by faith at all
times. If some dark providence has beclouded thee, use thy God as a
"sun;" if some strong enemy has beset thee, find in Jehovah a "shield,"
for he is a sun and shield to his people. If thou hast lost thy way in
the mazes of life, use him as a "guide," for he will direct thee.
Whatever thou art, and wherever thou art, remember God is just what
thou wantest, and just where thou wantest, and that he can do all thou
wantest.

Enjoying Motherhood

2011-04-26T04:49:00.000-07:00

First a howling blizzard woke us,
Then the rain came down to soak us,
And now before the eye can focus -
Crocus. ~Lilja Rogers
(Bannon's copywork poem)

The kids are running in the gardens and outdoors with a big pink ball, the puppy, and each other. We are watching and picking lots and lots of yellow trout lilies, expectantly watching the daffodil buds, and eyeing all the frog eggs in the pond. The tulip greens, and crocus flowers are cute as a button right now. Beatrix Potter stories are being read, and Among the Farmyard People as well. Staying here* in heart and mind is a challenge as it seems distractions are aplenty. But when I do, the satisfaction finds me, and I remind myself what a blessing it is to be a mom.

I Love Today

2011-04-24T18:06:00.000-07:00

I love green
and salvation
and new life
and singing about the Resurrection.
I love new clothes like my new spiritual ones.
I love egg hunts and Easter baskets.
I love ham and colorful festive meal tables.
I love Jesus
my family
and my friends.
I love today.
(pictures by Andrea)

Ha

Seeing

2011-04-21T14:17:00.000-07:00

I pulled out the picture baskets and scrapbooks to do some mama creative work. I teared up and laughed. So many memories recorded on those pieces of paper! How quickly the smiles, days, moments fade off into yesterday.

I picked up our camera again after a couple of weeks laying it aside. Anxiety and stress do that to me. As much as I hate it, it does. The family has been sick with something akin to the flu. It appears we are back on the road to being healthy. I'm seeing the bubbles again.

Because he loves them. A gift from the coat.

2011-04-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

Things in spring

2011-04-08T04:05:00.000-07:00

Listening to the sights and sound of home. Grady sees the girls playing dolls and he's intrigued and joins in.

Bella growing and learning to pay more attention to things she's playing with, for longer periods of time.
Look Mom! See Mom? Guess what Mom? Why Mom? Remembering the language of their ages. Their wonder and active years of discovery. Approval. Encouragement.
We spent a sunny hour at the pond. Me sitting with Grady at my side soaking in the sun. The other guys looking for salamanders. Home for a lunch at the picnic table, and then quiet time where I caught a quick rest on the couch. Home business of sweeping, mopping, putting away laundry, cleaning hot spots also creating pretty. Watching the little seeds in the window sprout.

Fun at family's swingset, home for more play and waffles. Bubble bath.

Day by day

2011-04-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

The sun dawns and sore throats and coughs have taken hold during the night. Praying, keeping watch, reciting the Mom's Psalm for raising children :0) to my spirit:

Psalm 84:3 Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar, O LORD of Heaven's Armies, my King and my God!

So we and I wrestle out a soul and spirit's focus. Will I raise the level of anxiety here in this place? Will I be an agent to minister His peace and presence as I fix my eyes upon the Father? I cry the tears of fear, I leave my little ones in His hand again and again. And we take care of her. Bringing tea, smiles, medicine, comfort. And He is still here, even when Mom doesn't do the best at coping with stress.

A new day, and Spring is here. The sun is warm, and Sophie sets up a tea party with sunglasses. Bannon chases birds, Maureen comes for a quick but heart filling visit.

We walk the pond, and talk life, and what He's teaching us. And I remember that His mercies never end. They are new every morning. Not because He has changed this morning, but because He has more for each new day for me. Times and some days, I experience the burst and overflow when the cup is dry and I ask, but not when I expect.
Yes, He is good.
And it often bursts in the out of way places.
When I'm holding the sick one.
When I'm folding the laundry.
When I'm afraid and I look to Him.
When I keep my voice from sending the wrong message of condemnation as much as my flesh pulls in the opposite direction. And somehow words of teaching grace encourage the bickering child.
When I do the next thing and even though the glass broke, the kids cried at the same time,
I know my weakness
but my God is greater still.

And Spring is growing in my heart.

Rainy outside

2011-04-05T03:30:00.000-07:00

And they painted colorful masterpieces.

And made a campground in the living room.

Making Merry on the First of April

2011-04-01T04:18:00.000-07:00

We started "making funny" the night before because I know that no one would appreciate me not making pizza for Friday night dinner.

April Fool's Eve Menu:

Meatloaf Cake, with mashed potato frosting and side salad
Dessert tacos

Recipe for dessert tacos
Fry one side of a flour burrito in melted butter and cinnamon sugar. Take a little bit of chocolate ice cream and put it in first, some cut up kiwi, sliced strawberries in syrup, whipped cream, and roll up tight. The dessert taco.

And someone here recorded their naughtiness. They froze the boys' toothbrushes in cups of water.

^{Proverbs 17:22} A cheerful disposition is good for your health;
gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.

Busy Beavers

2011-03-31T04:12:00.000-07:00

For a day we enjoyed the spring weather! It was so beautiful. The little guys wanted nothing more than to jump on the trampoline, have a picnic, and chase the ducks. We thought maybe we would take a stroll up to the pond and see if the beaver could be seen. No sightings but we saw the telltale signs of his or her presence.

The ice in this corner of the pond was gone, and a trio of chewed trees mark his/her doorway.

There was a new bird singing and we tried to flush it out of the brush so we could see what kind of a bird it was but it was shrewd and flew away in odd directions and very low to the ground. Maybe a wren? Maybe a wood thrush? We will see!

And this one seems to be following his sister's footsteps in dirt enjoyment ;)

"You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again." ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Believe in Spring

2011-03-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

The winter lingers long this year, and the walls are getting closer :) So I do the next thing, knowing as the years have shown, spring will enter the scene soon. I have seen the chipmunks wake from their hibernating nests, the mallards have paired and they swim gracefully in the creek, the sun shines warm through the eastern windows. These days of *in between* I ask for grace and the simple guidance of "do the next thing" always whispers clear.

So I remind myself and stick to the rhythms of what I've known, and reap the fruit of the immediate joy and faith for the soon-to-come. I know it's coming. I believe in God's goodness.

Some of the very simplest of rhythms like:
~ drinking in His words in the early morning
~ trusting in His words
~ praying always
~ taking time to be quiet
~ confessing my sins, receiving His forgiveness
~ actually using the tools He's taught me through my mothering and homemaking years
~ enjoying the blessing of women who also share their tools and I can learn things from them
~ keeping that gratitude journal on the counter, and counting His blessings during the day

It's wonderful to be the King's daughter.

Romans 8:15 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father."

A Day in March

2011-03-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." ~Charles Dickens

It's still windy and cold, but it is certainly Spring. We are venturing more and more outside...and I go too. The sun is good for all of us. Today I held Grady and we watched the kids play and gather their "treasures" of knotted crab apple wood, stones-one a fossil, and leaves. Bannon and Abby have begun a "playground" of old metal pieces and wood. It's so very cute to watch their excitement inspire them. Sophie was a wonderful big sister as she chased Bella who was doing her little wandering thing that she does. She didn't have to, because I was nearby watching. But it was a gift to observe how they were caring for one another. I'm sure you can understand.

We planted little, itty bitty seeds today in eggshells. We will hopefully watch over them well, and watch the green shoots come up soon. I have a couple of strawberry pots that I'm trying to understand how to use, and many more dreams in my head for flowers. :)

Little One

2011-03-27T17:37:00.001-07:00

Grady's birthday dinner was held on March 20th, a full day after he turned one. It was postponed due to other little siblings being away visiting Grandma. Since we knew little Grady to be a flexible kind of boy, we thought best to wait for the Grand dinner of spaghetti to be held on Sunday. It was a bittersweet sort of moment for me. The time truly does pass quickly, and I can honestly say, this person is a wonderful gift to us. Thank you Lord for Grady. For his happy ways and smile. For his excitement in being alive and his curious ways of observing the world.

Bannon's Spring

2011-03-26T15:44:00.001-07:00

"Mom? Can I take the camera outside and take pictures like when you let me take pictures of the beaver?"

"Ummmmm.... well, be very, very careful with it."

"I will!"
All Bannon's pictures. No influence by me

"You get some mud in your hand, throw it in a cool drying place, like in the sun, get it as big as you want, put some decorating things like sticks, leaves, rocks and then let it dry." Bannon's mud pie recipe.

When the lion in March becomes the lamb

2011-03-11T03:45:00.000-08:00

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

trading in:

complaining and receiving thankfulness

Fear and receiving faith

Worry for trust

Frustration for creative solutions

Tearing down for building up

Cynicism for loving truth

Impatience for mercy

Not really sure I'm communicating this right...

2011-03-04T04:42:00.000-08:00

I frequently think and say to people, "I had no idea how much being a mom would require me to die to myself. I don't think anyone could have prepared me for that."

My prayer life has increased tremendously because there are so many times I truly don't know what to do for "life" that happens and there are decisions and wisdom that is needed.

I read the Word to understand the heart of a Father that created mothers to raise and lead children, and how I need more of That kind of Love. A Love that made all of us in His image. A Love that sent His Son to lay down His life to give us eternity with Him.

And yesterday, in the stress of a busy day, when patience and love was waning, I cried out to God about it all. And it's often, frequently, in the very simple but crazy times of cooking with the little hands asking to stir, and cups of milk that spill, and din of noise, and children who are fighting or giving me lip, He asks me to take a long loving look at Him and remember the whys of being patient and loving. The whys of discipline and instruction.

This is my later love note to their Daddy (with some parentheses to explain my thoughts):

"It's been a filled to the brim with bustle morning. We worked on chores, some fairy tale and nursery rhyme reading, drawing, and then lunchtime. I'm tired. But I'm thankful (to their Creator and Father God) for all of their big blue eyes (sorry, I love brown and green eyes too :), helpful hands and hearts that make messes, get loud and get in the way of my business. They are all sorts of sweet and they help make me a better person. They deserve it (meaning my love and patience) even though they aren't perfect. (Abby told Bannon he wasn't sharing and he said, 'no one is perfect (sigh!).' "

God says they are worth it. He said we were too.

(A peaceful moment where I had time to grab the camera)

And have I mentioned how much my children love this blog? This living photo album? I was checking out the new banner yesterday, and Abby scrolled and suddenly stopped. Can you see why?

Homemaking thoughts

2011-03-03T04:15:00.000-08:00

A Little House

God send us a little home

To come back to, when we roam.

Low walls and fluted tiles
Wide windows, a view for miles.
Red firelight and deep chairs
Small white beds upstairs
Great talk in little nooks
Dim colors, rows of books.
One picture on each wall,
not many things at all.
God, send us a little ground
Tall trees stand round.
Homely flowers in brown sod
and Overhead, thy stars, O God.
God bless thee, when winds blow
Our home and all we know.

~by Florence Bone

(Jeremy's homefries. He is the best at making them.)

Jeremy has the claw foot tub in! The beadboard is painted white and there are tiles under the tub only, but we are on our way to remodeling the house. It is such a fun and a creative endeavor for us to imagine colors and feelings here. I look forward to thrifting to find the treasures to accent the walls and furniture.

I've found this winter a happy recipe for the dinner hour are the candles, the music, the insistence on table manners, and sitting together for talking. It really doesn't matter the food or perfectly matched sets. It's amazing how even the simplest meals (grilled cheese, eggs, salads), are all the sweetest and heartwarming with these ingredients.

Worship Him

2011-03-02T04:22:00.000-08:00

"Graces unexercised are as sweet perfumes slumbering in the cups of the flowers: the wisdom of the great Husbandman overrules diverse and opposite causes to produce the one desired result, and makes both affliction and consolation draw forth the grateful odours of faith, love, patience, hope, resignation, joy, and the other fair flowers of the garden. May we know by sweet experience, what this means." Charles Spurgeon

For today, and every day, eyesight catches glimmers of the hope of heaven.

We see Jesus, in the Word, the fullness of God in human form.

And He lives in our lives when we ask Him, and we seek His kingdom first.

Casting cares, anxieties, concerns.

Asking for wisdom, direction, opportunities, instruction.

We obey.

It sometimes is a song.

Sometimes an action.

A word.

A jar of perfume.

Excessive?

Accepted.

Happy Sunday

2011-02-28T04:00:00.000-08:00

I am 40. If there's one thing I'm by grace figuring out, it's that sometimes life happens to me, but a lot of time, I also must make life happen. A springtime sun and deep snow calls to my memory sleigh riding as a child. Those bugs are on the snow, my cheeks are red, my feet get wet, and the snow tires me out as I make my way through knee high and even thigh high depths. "Off the couch," I say to my reading boys, a dear friend and her boisterous crew join us, and we trek through our Narnia woods and enjoy my neighbor's beautiful sledding hill.

But of course first, boisterous children + boisterous husband Jeremy= snowball fight.

And here is the beautiful hill. Isn't it lovely?
And 40 year old moms one of 6, one of 8, decide we also shall try the hill today. But it likely won't happen with speed and tackling like these two.
With bravery like this one.
Perhaps a joyful smile like this one.
Some slowing down with caution like this one.
Definitely not with this relaxed, ain't no thang, look of this one.
Here goes Maureen!
Uhhhhh....

Oh wait, there you go!

Whoops!!

Ok, my turn! (Maureen looks a little too happy doesn't she?) and Cotter against my wishes had a sense to take pictures of my run.

Ouch.
Bella just sitting quietly in the snow.

Spring is almost here. I can feel it in the air!

Winter Sunrise to Sunset

2011-02-25T18:05:00.000-08:00

A Picture is as Good as a Thousand Words.

2011-02-23T17:11:00.000-08:00

Remember the apples we soaked in lemon juice and salt? We finally made little mice out of them. Fabric, beads, chenille stems and glue.

From my stash of pictures fell out an old picture of a statue made by Jake built out of tinker-toys. I guess I've always liked the products of their hands. :) I was excited to see Abby build a snail out of blocks. Isn't it cute?!

And another picture was one found by Abby. Bella saw it, and we tried to explain that it was Hannah as a little girl, but she kept saying, "No, it's Daddy and Bulllla!" So, here are a few with her favorite person, Daddy.

And lastly, Bella was a bit shy when first hanging out with her Uncle Chance. He sits. She smiles. He says, "Hi Bella," and she flips over to hide. And then....
well, this.

Beautiful Dreamer

2011-02-22T03:59:00.000-08:00

The family on the other side of the creek is packing up and getting ready for their move. We've had the cousins over for some playtime. I like to watch them play. It's usually about the dolls and dresses in the dress up box.

*picture of Adriana my niece

*picture of Sophie

*picture of my niece Elena

Here he goes! All those dreams I've collected in my heart over the years to decorate, design and nest, he smiles and thinks how to get it done. He's really good to me. This is our bathroom remodel in its baby/beginner-steps. In the wings we have beadboard, a claw foot bathtub, sienna colored floor tiles, and me with pictures of the romantic/rustic nature. This is nothing to show you yet, but the before. It's going to be so pretty!

Some of this week's blessings from the gratitude journal:
~Bella saying, "Mommy, me, you and Daddy."
~Grady's excited way of taking hold and resting on other little children.
~freshly fallen snow
~arts and crafts (making a Brambly Hedge play house with mice) and my helpers
~a cleaned, organized house after an hour of undisturbed work
~apologies and forgiveness
~birthdays
~my friend Nancy who comes with balloons, baked goods, and a merry heart that dances with the kids
~Bella seeing the sunrise from our bed and saying, "Mommy, look the clouds are beauuutiful..."
~warm sunshine
~melting snow and mud pies
~an afternoon rest I took and listened to beautiful music and took the time to enjoy the pictures on my wall
~Sophie and Grady playing legos
~friendship
~Bannon reading to girls
~Bannon writing his own songs
~loud guitar music, teens looking forward to a youth event and open mic
~Jeremy getting up early, early to get the fires going
~thinking about the genuine growth inside the hearts of my teens since they were small. Their God given personalities are so evident as they've been growing.

"Pearls on a string"

2011-02-20T04:25:00.000-08:00

The boys' choir was invited to participate in a concert at a nearby music hall. I wasn't able to go, but Jeremy did and and captured the moment.

Yesterday we celebrated Abby's birthday. She carried the hope of this day for so long. On the day she asked me quietly and reminded me whenever I would slip, "Call me birthday girl ok?" Our cousins who brought the instant party joined the family for some bowling, fellowship and cake.

Six. Where has the time gone? I love you Abby.
Girl with an imagination who dreams, nurtures, laughs, smiles, and loves.

Gratitude and Contentment

2011-02-17T04:12:00.000-08:00

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."~Dale Carnegie

Years ago I sat crying in a group of spiritual friends and counselors. I was frustrated with where our lives were at. And let me tell you, I was wasting and still would and will waste time being angry at unmet expectations I had in life and people. A wisened person understood, shared compassion, but left me with words that would affect the shaping of my vision. "Some things in life are hard. But that is life. It's hard when people hear things like that, because then they want to go and fix it." I was hurt at the time, but they did me a tremendous favor. Eventually I was forced to increase prayer and just started to tell myself, "Let go. Trust God. Let go. Trust God. Be right. Trust God." If you know me, you know this has been a continuing life lesson for my heart and mind. But God provides resources and creativity and opportunities in ways we can't always see.

I think that's why this book has been a blessing for me. It continues to remind me in my up-and-down moments and up-and-down days to slow down, remember thanks, remember what's best, and life really does start to look a little different.

Whom have I in heaven but You?

2011-02-15T03:54:00.000-08:00

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Valentine's Day has come to mean more to me than romance. Years past, expectations on how I thought our celebrations and moments had to happen left me frustrated and disappointed as we didn't always have babysitters or Jeremy had to work long. So as the babies have come, and life has been busy, we have made our own fun parties. Homemade Valentines (initially years ago because we didn't have the money to buy the cute ones), and now Jeremy brings home sweets while I prepare a special dinner for all of us. This year was tacos, because life is...you know...busy with little guys as my helpers.

6:15 pm, Jeremy and the gang come tired through the door. On the other side the little ones had decided to greet them, posted like sentries at the door, with a loud and happy, simultaneous "Happy Valentine's Day!!!!" The candles were lit, they had set the table with a white cloth, Frank Sinatra played loudly and the basket on the wall overflowed with homemade Valentines.

We had our dinner together and moved into the living room after where we shared our momentos.

Saturday's Smiles

2011-02-13T03:23:00.000-08:00

The turkeys and deer mingled together in the morning. Pictures by Jeremy.

I hope you see them. It was pretty neat.

Always finding reasons to smile.
A wintry snow squall. Pictures by Cotter. It was amazing, weird and beautiful all at the same time. We were outside playing when it came in. That was kinda fun. We just stood against the house and "wow"ed while it blew in and blanketed everything.

And Grady is doing all those things that make us yell, "He's so cute!!!! He's so cute!!! I can't take it!!! He's so cute!!!"

Trying to put on his Dad's hat.
Discovering his ability to clap and be a part of the happy :) noise around here.

Taking a long, loving look at God

2011-02-11T15:52:00.000-08:00

"Why do we have such difficulty believing God could love those we perceive as good and those we perceive as bad with the same unfailing love? Because we relentlessly insist on trying to humanize God. We tend to love people according to how they act, and we keep trying to recreate God in our image." Beth Moore, Breaking Free, pg.177

^{Psalm 23:5} You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.

Winter's Story

2011-02-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

In winter we do indoor things. Like make up stories, and play fairy tales.

A princess on her throne

And another, telling her servants she'd like to have a dance

And they perform for her.

A merry company.

He asks what he can do again.

She is looking for her lost gold. She folds her hands to pray he can find it.
(And I guess the rest will be answered at a later time because I stopped taking pictures ;)
********************************************************************************

Bookends of a smile:

~Bella feeding her baby

~and these pictures of the boys' laughter. There is a story here too, yes!

(the busy man who is always studying.)

Books and Play

2011-02-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

Thinking on these things

2011-02-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

A beautiful kind-of couple of days. I've been finding so much strength from the knowledge that two are better than one. If one falls down, the hand of the other reaches to help the fallen stand up again. This season of mine is a busy one. Thank you my friends for encouraging me to keep on keeping on. To remember to mark out a straight path. These days are racing. I love the pictures and I cherish these memories.

Hannah's gifts from Abby

Hannah's birthday dessert

The past couple days I have felt like I've been jogging on a treadmill. Moving quite quickly, but not accomplishing anything measurable it would seem. But it's ok. Maybe this isn't the time to be looking for that. Right now it's time to enjoy the ride. It's time to smell the flowers. So I am. :)

candle and gratitude journal

Bella and Grady

icicle, lace curtain, and snow

Ranger waiting for Jeremy and the big guys to get home from school

coloring

rising bread, crockpot of spaghetti sauce and coffee pot doing their cozy thing

Phillipians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Making melody in my heart unto the King of Kings

2011-02-07T05:10:00.000-08:00

Psalm 104:²⁴O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches.

My Pastor has been teaching right now about our value in God's eyes. Jesus said, Look at the flowers.... and how much more will our Father care for us. That's the kind of Father He is.

I realized the other day little Bella Pearl declares that every day is her birthday. In her innocence, tears, hugging, laughter, discoveries, carefree- "living large" and even discipline she is loved and knows she is loved. Her name means "beautiful pearl."

Psalm 107:⁸ Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
⁹For He has satisfied the thirsty soul,
And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.

So today I say "thank you Father," for:

~ Your mercy
~ My community. That you use everything to change us.
~ Specific answers to prayer, because You know us, and Your love is extravagant.
~ A gentleman that serves his family sacrificially. Thank you Lord for his heart. How I am challenged by his generosity.
~ My children. In both the trials and the blessings. I am thankful.
~ too many great books all at one time in my pile.
~the sight of robins!
~ for my Mom, who is going to help me finish my crocheted socks, who is always concerned about her loved ones well being
~ Hannah Banana. 17. How she suffered through our growing parenting and still growing parenting years. Oh Lord, thank you for Hannah. What a gift she is to us.
~ fresh stirring of vision.

Psalm 34:⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

My Healer

2011-02-04T18:39:00.000-08:00

Psalm 103:
¹ Let all that I am praise the Lord;
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
² Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.
³ He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
⁴ He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
⁵ He fills my life with good things.
My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

"Long term liberation comes from accompanying God on a trek to (1) identify the problem, (2) demolish the stronghold, and (3) continue to walk in truth. The first step takes one moment. The second and third steps represent a process because getting to know the Healer is more important than finding healing.
Believing and receiving the love of God dramatically affects the child of God." ~Beth Moore, Breaking Free, pg 190

...and it has made all the difference

2011-02-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

Early morning waking with an adorable baby in my arms. Daddy is off to work and Grady smiles large. I put him back to bed, and he cries, but soon settles. I go down and coffee is waiting because Jeremy and the big guys have left for school.

The morning's quiet lingers for a while. I cherish these quiet times when I get to turn over the soil in my heart as I read and pray. I don't always like what comes to the surface. Those rocks are still there, but He is so good to point them out to me. He will never leave us or forsake us.

Girls playing happily together for quite some time

Bannon's "Princess of the Golden Roof" from yes, Grimm's Fairy Tales

It was Thanksgiving of 2009 that I felt compelled to start with the Holy Experience Gratitude Community. I don't know all the reasons why, I didn't even regularly read her blog. I think I took Ann Voskamp's word that it had make a remarkable change in her life. I needed changing. (I still do! :) ) So, I sat and put some of my thankful thoughts out on my blog. And slowly over time, as I've taken the time to type out these expressions of "Thank you Lord," from my heart, I've felt heart-strings tie, from my heart and gaze, to His. I wondered if I was making myself look silly by posting some of the things I did.

But it is changing me. How as I've said, and as the author says in her book, my sight is lifting up off of my struggles and insecurities and fears, and my sight looks from a view that reminds me that I am loved, and like Ann Voskamp says, "It's all Grace."

I just wanted to add here that I'm not trying to say this has been the only source of my growth, but it has been a significant heart activity I've been doing.

I'm doing the book study starting this Sunday. I'm so looking forward it.